Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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