Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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