When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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