I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
