he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
