Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
COCAINE IS GR8
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize