Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
