areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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