I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
