He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
