Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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