I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
