Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
