In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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