The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
