I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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