Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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