i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
