can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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