Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
