Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
