Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
