I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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