White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
