Sacagawea was the original milf.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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