you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize