my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
