Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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