i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
