oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
