youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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