so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
