Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
