I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
