mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just invented taco cereal.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
