Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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