I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
