wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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