yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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