Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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