Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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