if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
