You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
