You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
whose parrot is this?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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