how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
