he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize