Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize