its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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