love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
