so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
