i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
