I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
