i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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