We're facebook friends in real life
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
