so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
