What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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