good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
