it hurts more in the daytime
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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