Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
