Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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