she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
