Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
