Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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