This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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