Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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