Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize