So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
