You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
