dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
