he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
