I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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