I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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