please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
