so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
