Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
