I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
