Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I currently don't understand fingers.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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