i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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