Christians are straight up FREAKS
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
