Sry I called you an 8
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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