Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
