Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
